Alphas are very attractive due to the confidence, courage and drive that they exude. If you are in a relationship with one or want to be, here is nine aspects that will help you understand them on a much deeper level.
- Not narcissism.
Alphas get a bad rap because they are often grouped with narcissists. The big differences between the two are that Alphas do not become aggressive when challenged, they are considerate of their partner (even if they don’t communicate it effectively), and they do not emotionally/psychologically/physically bully others. If any of these are occuring- you are dating are narcissist, not an Alpha.
- No ‘pure’ Alpha.
No one is pure alpha in all areas of their life. You should not assume that your business Alpha will also be the Alpha in your relationship. Take a moment to observe them in different situations and notice how they (and you) change with different circumstances.
- Power Dynamic.
The power dynamic that your relationship has will need to be focused on throughout the relationship. Both parties need to make sure that they feel that they have some control in the relationship without overpowering the other person. This is a balance that will need to be struck between the both of you and is unique to every relationship.
- Give and take.
Every relationship is about give and take, but with Alpha relationships, this needs to be reassessed often. Make sure you understand the other person and their expectations. Along with them understanding you and your expectations. If communication seems murky, make a point of working on it so that it is clear what each of you is needing.
- Together Goals.
Alphas love goals and creating steps to get to those goals. It is important that you create goals together and give each other tasks in order to reach the objective. It is better if you are both contributing in different ways, so that each member of the ‘team’ is seen as important and imperative to success.
- (Just as important) Function on your own.
If you become dependent on an Alpha for day to day tasks it can become increasingly unhealthy. This is why it is so important to have your own hobbies and goals. It is fine to have your Alpha help from time to time, but the goals (and the achievements) need to be your own.
- Direct and honest.
A true Alpha loves direct honest communication. Indirect or vague communication can appear like lying to them and this can become incredibly frustrating for them. When problem solving, make sure to stick to the facts (even if it facts about emotions) and have a goal in mind. Discuss the goal openly and figure out how you both can start moving in a productive direction. This helps with each party feeling heard and constructive.
- Challenge each other.
Alphas love a challenge. Make sure to keep things interesting by exploring new hobbies and helping each other grow. This will keep everyone engaged and feeling excited to learn more about the other person. Plus you can help each other achieve your personal goals and become the person you are striving to be.
- Be open and vulnerable.
Alpha, at times, have a difficult time getting emotional support from others and will typically try to handle everything on their own. Because of this, you may need to teach them that others can be a trusted support by showing them how it is done. The key here is being honest and open with your emotions so that they can see how others can be supportive without being dependent. A healthy balance is needed here so that the connection can be made during this sensitive interaction.
Alphas with Alphas:
-Ultimate Power Couple
Although Alphas can be very driven and goal oriented people, it is important to take a break and just enjoy each other every once in a while. Make sure to take time to be open and vulnerable about emotions. If you can master both the emotional and goal striving parts of the relationship, your bond will be incredibly strong. Plus you can help each other reach higher and higher goals.
-Find a Balance or Burn out.
Your relationship can start off hot and intense, but you need to learn how to balance so that you don’t quickly burn out. You both can still have ‘together goals’ but remember that self care and personal hobbies are very important for the longevity of a relationship. Part of this is also getting to know and understand the other person with their many layers. Nothing is cut and dry, so learn how the other person works and what a relationship with the both of you will really look like.
My Challenge to you: See what aspects apply to you in your relationship and how you can capitalize on the benefits. The most important piece is balance and teamwork as you figure out what you would like your relationship to look like. Remember that every couple has a different dynamic- the key is finding the best one for the both of you.
Happy loving friends!
– Jessie the Therapist
Photo by: BlueFox Press
